waiting

The last several weeks have been busy - school, boys' play dates, soccer games, gymnastics, doctor appointments, various errands, and best of all: friends.

The questions people have politely and thoughtfully asked me lately are 

#1 How is Jason?

and

#2 How is the house? 

Unfortunately, the answer is the same for both: 

Nothing new. The structure is still there and strong, but we are waiting to find out how/when it will be built back up. 

Waiting. That is the essence of what we have been doing on both fronts - waiting on test results, waiting on a new roof, waiting to see if the chemo works, waiting for a building permit. We are waiting to get our life back. 

But here is the latest insight: Life has been happening all along, while we were waiting. 

We have shared moments of bliss and agony, watched soccer games be won and lost. We have enjoyed friends, enjoyed each other, enjoyed solitude. We have shared meals, read books, taken hikes, celebrated birthdays, drank wine, cleaned house, built forts, done homework, taken naps, talked to family and mowed the lawn. All the mundane and the glorious minutiae of life have been magnified to become special, treasured moments because they are all we have while we are waiting for life to recommence.

Meeker Classic

What a beautiful weekend for our (ok, my!) favorite annual event:

the Meeker Classic Sheepdog Trials!

We go every year, and the boys are old enough now that they understand the meaning behind the event: carnival-style food!!!

Seriously, I am a little embarrassed to say that the boys were anxious to go this weekend, not to watch the dogs perform or take in a little rural, pastoral culture...

they were excited to have funnel cake.

And it didn't end there. They also wanted corndogs, kettle corn, snow cones, and cotton candy!

So I obliged and they got to run around with their friends while I sneaked a peek at some of the trial.

Now, just to be fair - Sam's whole 2nd grade class did get to spend one day at the Classic learning about sheepdogs and herding, wool spinning, leather crafting, canine therapy, and of course some native Scottish Highland clothing and music!

So when the boys and I went together on Saturday it was warm, sunny, full of good friends to hang out with and many fun things to see and experience. We even made it home with a few non-edible souvenirs and an appreciation for the whole event.

On the wagon ride home - with kettle corn, cotton candy and snow cones in tow!

Can't wait until next year!!!

a long weekend

Last Thursday kicked off a very long weekend indeed for us.

Jason was scheduled for another follow-up MRI and appointment with the oncologist and neurosurgeon. Having reached a tipping point of sorts from chemotherapy treatment, post-radiation exhaustion and several months of wondering "is all this even working?" we were anxious to have some results. Any results - as long as they were definitive.

rockin' out to a little Van Morrison while we wait...

The results were fairly definitive... and not necessarily uplifting.
The tumor appears to still be growing.
We understood upon original diagnosis that a GBM type tumor would most certainly reoccur after treatment - but I don't think either of us expected it to show up again so soon.

a comparison of MR Images of Jason's brain:
The RIGHT image is from late June.
The LEFT image is from last Thursday.

So we came back to Meeker that afternoon with a clearer picture of Jason's brain...
but a cloudier idea of what the road ahead would look like.

• We knew that we would spend the next several days sharing thoughts, conversations, emotions and concerns with one another and our dear friends and families.
• We knew that we would reach out to certain people that could help us make good decisions and understand what kind of road we were on.
• We knew that despite not knowing where we were headed - we would continue to love every second of the journey and appreciate the time and freedom that long, holiday weekends offer.

And in doing so, we somehow came to a place where we knew we were headed in the right direction, at least!

In between a high school football game, dinner parties, a trip to the Glenwood Hot Springs and of course running Hamp & Sam to and fro whichever play date or sleepover was arranged, AND with the help of friends and family who are behind us every step of the way, we called the oncologist's office this morning and requested addition drug treatment.

So the road trip continues...