14 years, 11 years, 3 years

January 18th

Hamp turned 14 in good form - he is in between sports so he has more free time now to roll his eyes at me, play the Xbox, watch YouTube videos, and hang out with friends! I am buoyed by the occasional moment that he wants to hug me, or holds the door open for someone, or shares a story or plays nicely with his brother. For his birthday he asked for ONE thing: to be excused from school and go skiing! So I indulged (which his father may not have appreciated!) and we played hooky for the mountain and had doughnuts for breakfast!

In 14 years I have learned to appreciate the balance of sweet moments with trying times and to appreciate the difference between what I want Hamp to be and who he is.

January 24th

Sam is now 11 and is as intense and thoughtful as ever. His childhood leanings toward creativity and curiosity have developed into a passion for building and subsequently a very messy desk! (we got a hot glue gun for Christmas and it has been put to good use lately!) He continues to practice gymnastics 5 hours a week, and spent his birthday evening at the gym where his sweet teammates sang to him and presented him with a gift! He enjoyed sharing cupcakes with them and didn't even mind waiting until 9pm that night to open his gifts.

In 11 years I have learned that parenting is different for each child, for they each need different things from me and that one of the most important things to do as a parent is just stop and listen and pay attention to their world.



January 25th

It has been 3 years since Jason passed and while time heals wounds, living without him is still difficult on a daily basis. The hole he left is still gaping and he is constantly on my mind. I wonder every day whether I mention him enough or too much; whether the boys remember him well or think of him often. I fear the day his absence will manifest in some way a character flaw in either of them - and constantly try to prevent that from happening. I find myself still imagining him with us - his reaction to new songs or his pride at his sons' endeavors or his excitement for all the adventures we go on.

In 3 years I have learned that gratitude is not always an easy choice and that single parenting, whatever the circumstances, is difficult and that family (both biological and chosen) is what matters most. 

Ringing in the new year

As lovely as Christmas in Meeker was.... we were anxious to get to California to visit sweet family and celebrate together!

Oh man - Hamp & Sam just love their cousins so well (both sides in fact! How lucky we are...) I found no greater holiday joy than watching Hamp dote on his baby cousin Jenavieve or seeing all four boys wrestle and shout and play and laugh together! I enjoyed long visits with my sis-in-law over coffee, dodge ball & paddle ball with my brother, sweet cuddles with my niece and funny conversations with my nephews. We took advantage of the Southern Cali sunshine and spent hours at the park or in the backyard playing... and when we HAD to go inside, it was always a celebration: either at Medieval Times for Jack's 4th birthday or at home for New Year's Eve with a piñata full of candy! We even got new Georgia tee-shirts in anticipation of the Rose Bowl - Go DAWGS!

For Christmas, I got the boys tickets to see a show in Las Vegas on January 1st!
We had such a great night - we got into town just in time to celebrate Georgia winning the Rose Bowl (and wore our new tees proudly out & about on the strip that night!) then were amazed and thoroughly entertained by Mat Franco and his magic! We ended the evening with specialty cupcakes and the Bellagio Fountains and then made the long drive home the next day.
We are ready for the new year... and full of joy from being together.