I dropped John-Jefferson at the Grand Junction airport for a weekend trip to L.A. to visit a dear friend of his family. As he walked through security I realized that in less than a week he would be doing the exact same walk to end his stay in the United States... and it made me think about how precious our time together has been and how much we have all grown.
As a parent, having a third teenage boy in my home tested my patience and my parenting abilities... and I admit there were some days I did not pass the test! The boys were like true siblings - they picked on each other and wrestled and their dirty clothes and dishes and bathroom was exponentially worse. But they also danced and laughed and took care of each other and I felt privileged to witness and help foster their relationship.
In order to keep our minds open, our household adopted a motto for our year together:
~ Just because it's different, doesn't make it wrong ~
This phrase kept all four of us connected on many occasions when it would have been easy to judge or condemn one another for the slightest differences in taste, opinion or style. It turns out cultural differences are much deeper than just language and regional cuisine. I discovered that the nuances of a home's culture include where you sit on the couch or what you talk about at the dinner table or when you prefer to shower or what you put on your toast!
This is where the learning truly stemmed - from putting aside personal preferences and allowing for something different to become possible. Clearly, John had it the hardest... being comfortable in a new home where there were different foods, habits, language, music and customs. As a 16 year old boy, I imagine it requires a great deal of confidence to accept this and adjust accordingly! However, Hamp and Sam were not exempt from learning - they shared their once private and personal space with a veritable stranger who brought new habits, language, music and customs. They graciously accepted his idiosyncrasies and realized that at the end of the day we are all family and nothing else really matters. And beyond that, I saw them deepen their understanding of and appreciation for their own customs and way of life.
I hope that all three boys take this lesson, bury it deep in their souls and let it grow into a major character trait for each of them:
to know that our differences are many but small, and to be patient and kind with one another... after all,
just because it's different, doesn't make it wrong!
