Get Out! (or... a good start to summer!)

We started off our summer with a day in Fruita with friends - mountain biking, hiking, some requisite Hot Tomato pizza on the back deck, and more biking and playing in the desert. Even came out with the first official knee scrape of the season - which I took as a good sign - and a good excuse for getting dessert that night!

3 families - 9 boys.
9 dirty, sweaty, stinky, sweet & funny boys!

The tone was set for many June days outside...

the weather simply has been too nice not to enjoy and there are just so many reasons to go take a hike on the trails in town, take a little dip in the ditch to cool off, take a hike out of town, or spend Father's Day showing Mojo & Dado the South Fork trail and cave!

This past week, Hamp went with his buddies to a soccer camp in Glenwood Springs - it was beautiful, hot and apparently a great chance to better his soccer skills! Oh, and he had fun with his friends and I got to see my mountain in the background......

We are off to Tennessee to visit the Hightower fam - I am sure there will be plenty of time spent outside then, too!

So far, summer has been good to us.

Gator baseball

Another season of Little League Baseball has gone down in the books. 

Unfortunately, the books show a 4-15 record. 

While it was not exactly a winning season, it was still fun (as always!) to watch Hamp play ball... and I appreciate the challenges of parenting him through all the demands of the season:

~ uniform maintenance

~ attitude adjustments (sometimes in between innings)

~ coping with poor performance

~ being a good teammate in times of success and failure

~ and especially staying focused on the reason we play ball: because it is fun.

I hope he will continue to play baseball - he loves it, he learns so much about focus and perseverance and teamwork, and I love all the kids that he plays with (and so does he!)

photos courtesy of Michelle Cox Photography

Home meet

Last fall, when Sam joined the competitive gymnastics team, I knew that there would not really be an ends to the means - that he was working out with the team because he enjoyed it (and so we could carpool!) but that he would not be able to compete in the meets as they don't have male events...

So when our gym hosted a meet last weekend, I was overwhelmed at how they went out of their way to allow Sam to participate in all the events that he had been working on with the team!

It truly made all the practices and drives to Rifle worth it just to see Sam be a part of the team, participating with his friends at all the events and even getting judged! (he did quite well) And when it came time for the places to be announced and the medals awarded, the gym again went out of their way to acknowledge Sam and his efforts on the team. My heart was bursting for him - and despite the fact that he says he doesn't necessarily feel the need to compete, I know it meant a lot to him to be included. He loves his team and his sport - I can't wait to see what he will do next!

Spring

I have been remiss in posting updates this season... and I would say primarily it's just because we have been busy!!! I don't have too much by way of photos to show for it - but I assure you we came back to town from spring break and hit the ground running at top speed. Free time (when we found it!) was dedicated to play and slowing down long enough to relax before the next event.

For the record, here was my view from work (Meeker High School) the week after spring break:

Of course, all that spring snow led to plenty of spring mud once it started to melt!

Well Hamp & his gang saw that as a perfect opportunity to go hiking...

Then there was that one time I got to ride a donkey in the High School gym and play basketball:

(there simply is no segue for this event or picture - and by way of explanation, all I can say is that it was a fundraiser in April for one of our school clubs.... and it was hilariously profitable indeed!)

With the spring season comes the last stretch of the school year - which inevitably means major projects and field trips!

The 6th graders have had many fun projects (and a school dance somewhere in that mix...) including the quintessential Volcano model:

The 3rd graders' major research project to wrap up the year was a country report - and Sam chose to learn all about Myanmar (naturally?!)

Sam's class also took a neat field trip to the Glenwood Springs Caverns where they deepened their learning of local earth geology... 

or at least that was what the permission slip said they would be doing!

But spring for us just wouldn't be complete without Little League Baseball - and it has been a heck of a season so far. The Gators are together again and battling through a losing streak like crazy... all pretty great little ball players on their own, just can't get the team groove on. It doesn't help that they play 2-3 games a week and it has been almost consistently cold, windy and sometimes lightning and raining and wet. But none-the-less I love to watch Hamp play... 

... and especially love to watch him and all his teammates burst into celebration at winning their first two games of the season at a double header under the lights in Grand Junction! 

While I can not, out of respect for my entire family's collegiate associations, cheer for the Gators... I do love this team (and their coaches, and the parents!!!) and I love watching baseball, even in the cold wind and rain and under the threat of being struck by lightning.

There are still 2 weeks to go of school, baseball, and Sam's gymnastics (which I haven't even mentioned yet... that'll be for another post!) and then we will officially be in summer mode. Until then - I will love all that Spring has to offer.

spring break

I look forward to this view all winter long....

... and I'm sure I am not the only one who enjoys our Spring Break trip to Puerto Penasco, Mexico!

This year we rented SUPs (Stand Up Paddleboards) and they were a big hit with everyone!

But I am sure that while we all enjoyed the warm, sunny (sometimes windy!) days... it was sunset when we all played hardest - on the paddle boards, on the shore, or at low tide!

Sunrise wasn't bad either... it meant early rising boys and coffee and sweatshirts on the beach.

The boys all spent a day catching food for the week!
Rumor has it that Sam caught the biggest fish! And that there was a seal-sighting....

It was a perfect week - and we were all grateful for each other and for the chance to get away....

Until next March:

good feelings

In my quest to appreciate the joy everyday... I have tried to notice those recent moments when I have experienced:

PRIDE

HAPPINESS

AWE

CRAZINESS

DELIGHT

and sometimes.... moments of sheer silliness:

a new year - finding joy

I simply can not comprehend the passage of time lately - it has been one full year since Jason died and I still feel him and hear him like he was just here... yet some of the memories of us together are already fading like they were from another era.

I am not naive or selfish enough to think that I am the only person for whom this day, this wretched anniversary, is depressing or emotionally difficult. However, I can only share how I grieve and hope that in sharing it will soothe the ache of others who miss Jason.

I struggle with riding the chair lift on my own this winter... 

I have spent the past 12 months in a state of constant flux - moving back into our house, keeping the boys entertained and active, learning a new job, traveling to see family and staying home to be with friends - yet all the while walking a blurred line of emotion; trying to choose happiness, but sometimes simply being overwhelmed by sadness.

I am constantly sad that he is gone. That is what I feel when I first wake up and what I feel as I drift off to sleep. It stays with me throughout the day as well, sometimes obscured by moments of happiness here and there... but the feeling of sadness is so deeply lodged in my consciousness that it has become my default emotion.

More than sadness really, what I feel is a lack of joy. I have realized that my grieving has evolved into a strange inability to experience joy on a regular basis... and I know that it is because Jason was my joy. He made everything in my life more joyful; he truly made me happy. I find that where I previously enjoyed so many things I now find emptiness: books, movies, game night, skiing, camping, sleeping, eating, drinking. Nearly every activity used to bring me great pleasure when shared with Jason and now I go through the motions for the sake of normalcy, and for the sake of our boys.

But something that was shared with me has made an impact in my way of thinking and in my grieving... these are the words of Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook:

“When I first lost Dave, I felt overwhelmed with just getting through each day. My friend [@AdamGrant] suggested that every night before bed I write down three things I did well that day. I tried to do this, although some days I had such a hard time thinking of anything I did well that I’d end up listing ‘Made a cup of tea.’ But over time, focusing on things I’d done well helped me rebuild my confidence.” 
In 2016, Sandberg wrote that she plans to “write down three joyful moments each day.”“I want to choose life and meaning over death and tragedy and live Option B as best I can,” Sandberg wrote in a Facebook post in which she pledged to do the best without Option A, her late husband Dave Goldberg.
“So I will try to focus on finding joy in the mundane and the profound—joy in the small things that make my children smile, joy in the moments of friendship that might otherwise pass by unnoticed, joy in the ability to appreciate the gift of life in a way I never did before.”

I am inspired by her resolution to choose happiness and joy and I hope that in 2016 I too can find joy more often in everything we do. (and believe me, with all the adventures that these boys have we are bound to find more joy than we can handle!)